Pet Peeve #4: Tanorexics

Tanorexia Nervosa is a mental illness similar to anorexia nervosa. Like anorexics, who feel that they are fat-- even though they usually aren't-- Tanorexics tend to feel that they are unattractive if they do not alter their skin tone/colour by: a) spending time in the sun; b) abusing self-tanning creams and sprays, or c) sleeping on tanning beds until their skin crisps like 7-day old fried bacon.

I enjoy a nice bronze skin tone. I, for one, do not think much about tanning, but I do like to see other people with a nice healthy, sunny glow to their skin. That being said, there is a fine line between looking like you just got back from vacation and appearing to have switched ethinic backgrounds overnight!

I'm not sure if this is a trend or what but I have noticed so many people-- walking around the city and gracing the cover of celeb magazines-- looking like oompa-loompas who just finished stirring Willy Wonka's chocolate river. Why would anyone think this looks attractive? Their hair is bleached blond and their skin is as orange as the filling of Grandma's sweet potato pie. Their skin is wrinkled beyond belief-- causing them to buy unlimited supplies of Oil of Olay rejuvenation creams-- and yet, they persist.

Being a Black woman, I find this obsession very comical. I'm very proud of my skin tone, but I'm very aware of some of the drawbacks of having it. Sometimes I walk into a convenience store and I'm followed. Or, the old woman walking in front of me on a residential street may quicken her step and hold her bag closer to her body once she realizes that I'm right behind her. So forgive me if I LOL when people roast themselves beyond the point of recognition and go and get their hair braided into cornrows whilst on vacation to look like a "native", but would never ever consider actually being treated like one.

American Idol- We Have A Winner... Huh?!!!!

Okay, okay, I haven't been very good about keeping y'all up to date on my views about American Idol. But that was because I was totally certain that Adam "Eddie Munster" Lambert was a shoo-in as the winner. Guess who won? Kris "College Campus Warbler" Allen, that's who!!!! Boy did I NOT see that one coming!! Couple of questions for you all:

1. Do you think the show is rigged?

2. Do you think that everyone else thought Lambert was a shoo-in and didn't bother voting, hence the shocking result?

3. Do you think the show is rigged?

BTW- I think the BEST moment in the history of the show was when Tatiana "Coo Coo for Coco Puffs" Del Toro took the stage (while being chased by security) and gave an impromptu performance of Saving All My Love For You. The look on Ryan Seacrests face was priceless! All mental institutions should be put on stand by.

Dancing With the Stars- What A Joke!

Gilles Marini was totally robbed. No- scratch that. He was mugged! What a total joke of a show. Never watching it again.

If Iggy's Un-Canadian, So's Steve-o!

I've got to give it to the PC's for the new commercial they put out about Ignatieff's "otherness". It's classic, it get's straight to the point and it's funny.... but not for the right reasons.

By now I'm sure that most Canadians who read are aware that Michael Ignatieff lived outside of Canada for over 30 years prior to his foray into the Canadian political scene. He is an internationally known intellect and author and he was a professor at Harvard. This, to me, is a plus. In fact, by criticizing this the Conservatives have made themselves appear to be a carbon copy of the doofus, knuckle-dragging, monochromatic party that the US Republicans are right now- and judging from what transpired on November 4, 2008, that look hasn't been working out too well for them. Not to mention that by criticizing Ignatieff's "otherness" or "worldliness" the Conservatives are indirectly insulting the thousands of Canadian well-educated immigrants who may not have grown up in Canada, but are enthusiatically involved in their adopted homeland's political process. But this is not why I found this commercial funny.

This commercial is hilarious because the irony is so rich. By attacking Ignatieff as being a "stranger" to Canada, the Conservatives inadvertantly point to their own leader's conspicuous absence from Canada. I mean, when's was Stephen Harper last seen on Canadian soil? The last I remember seeing him was right before Obama went shopping for Beaver's Tails and key chains in Ottawa in February. He's been on CNN and the BBC smiling away, but he's given the CBC the proverbial finger since he moved into 24 Sussex. Let's face it- the man has been AWOL from Canada for last three months and everyone knows it. Well, everyone except the Conservative party. Looks like the joke's on them.

With MPs Like These Who Needs Disney?

As it turns out, the Liberals don't have to worry about the Conservatives in the next election- they need to start worrying about what kind of deviants they harbouring in their own party! The recent revelations about their rising star, Ruby Dhalla, are disturbing to say the least.

I am completely convinced that Ruby Dhalla is the human personification of every villain from a Disney motion picture or Charles Dickens novel. In fact, she does bare an uncanny and unsettling resemblance to the Queen from Snow White (and, I would assume, temperment), but let's stick to the issues. Miss Dhalla has been accused of hiring two housekeepers and underpaying as well as requiring them to do the following:

1. Shine her brothers shoes

2. Rub and massage her mother's feet

3. Give up their passports, marriage and birth certificates

4. Wash her car

5. Clean her home as well as her many chiropratic clinics

Cruella- I mean- Ruby has also demonstrated her callousness to others before. On a trip to India two young children were caught by the Indian police for attempting to steal Ms. Dhalla's purse. When it was revealed that the two children were severely beaten for the alleged crime, Ms. Dhalla's response was that the kids got what they deserved and she hoped they learned from the incident. Yeah, all this after she called for the Indian government to create more stringent laws on spousal abuse.

Sweet move, Ruby D, sweet move.