Thursday, April 2, 2009

Overrated Talent: Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez is one of the most overrated entertainers on the planet. By far. Punto final. Her dancing is mediocre at best; her singing voice is atrocious, and she hasn't had a good film role since Out of Sight. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Jennifer Lopez has been coasting on the success of her greatest asset. Her posterior.

Most of us became acquainted with Ms. Lopez's persistent mediocrity when she was a mere back-up dancer on the hit comedy show, In Living Color. When she realized she had exhausted her dancing talent she decided spread what little talent she had left into the film industry. I'll admit that she was pretty good as the slain Tejano singer, Selena. She was also half decent when she co-starred with George Clooney in Out of Sight. Sadly, her winning streak ended there. I haven't seen the woman in a decent movie since 1998.

Of course we cannot forget the J.Lo sound- I mean, even if we tried we wouldn't be able to. After the release of every blood-curdling recording we would all ask ourselves, when will she realize that she cannot sing? Well, I actually think she finally did realize that her vocal chops were lacking. She cut back on the warbling and decided to get into fashion. The horror! The horror!

Because Ms. Lopez is so tone deaf (both literally and figuratively) and self-absorbed, she decided- along with some other sadistic designer- that society couldn't get enough of her, so she created a clothing and fragrance line making it possible for everyone to look and even smell like her! The result? Some of the world's tackiest garb and stinkiest perfume; making even Britney Spears cringe. Yep, you now look and smell like the Bronx.

Many people will say that Jennifer Lopez is clearly talented because she is successful and popular, and that I'm being too harsh. But eating fried crickets with jasmine rice is popular in Thailand- does that make it right? Not necessarily. Talent is not forced or overdone. Jennifer Lopez, on the other hand, is forced and overdone. Talent should always speak for itself.

4 comments:

Gimped said...

I liked her in Enough and The Wedding Planner. No, they didn't make you ponder life's troubles, nor did I buy a ticket to go see them in the theatre, but they were still entertaining.

Unknown said...

Overrated is putting it mild. She sucks on all levels. Plus, black women have had those NATURAL assets for CENTURIES! Her and Kim K are self centered and talentless. Next!

Unknown said...

@unknown. Well said! Well said!!! We don't have to pay for what we have, naturally. White women dont even have lips, only gums and horse teeth. No ass, no boobies, just plain vanilla. Yuck. All the Krapdasians suck, along with J lowblo and Jennifer talentless Aniston!!!

Unknown said...

Right!!